Scooba's X-Mas

$c0oBa · Post by **$c0oBa** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 12:47 pm

Well this was a mixed feeling X-mas for me this year. As some may know My wife and I are seperated, it IS for good. On the 22nd I asked her if she was on drugs cause I seen an addiction in her eyes, I should of know that she wasn't on drugs, she IS better than that, but her addiction is love, something I haven't been able to give her in years cause I let my addictions of drugs, discgolf, and friends get me side tracked on my true addiction, my wife. It took her leaving me to realize this though, it was too late. She is with another guy, I respect her for being honest finally, he has supplied her with love, attention, and interest in her. Now here is the weird part, this guy I have known for years, known his family, went to his brothers wedding, his fathers funeral I have a lot of respect for his family even though I feel let down by him.
On the 23rd, 24th I had clammed up in my house deteriating my mind, body and soul. I got to the point where I was seeing hallucinations, and even started puking up blood I wouldn't eat. It was hard for me to deal with this and will be for a while, but I feel better now since the truth has been told. I'm probably going to lose my home, our home. May be a good thing, even know I'll have to live in debt for some time, but this can be conquered. The good thing is, at least I know the guy's background, he is a good guy, I feel like I could trust him around my kids, and don't see him treating my wife bad or hitting on her as I did sometime in the past, so for that I am happy for her, and will pray and wish them the best of luck.
On the 25th we closed this up and came to an agreement that we will become friends, we have 3 kids that don't need to see us keeping the anger between us, it wouldn't be right, I have to break the curse of generation, and not show my kids the same thing my father had shown me when I was growing up, I can change their future and will. She was worried about me making problems if they were together at B-day party's, school events, and I garaunteed her I WOULD NOT, but she has to do the same for me, we agreed. I hope me and her can build a good future together, for our kids.
As for my three kids I am going to do my part to be a better father, and be a BIG part of there life, so maybe not so many tournaments, but I will be at the ones I can. I love all you guy's, we're all family. I hope that maybe I will be able to bring them to Beloit, Hays, cause they love Willis, and maybe a few others. They will never see the friz, Iwoulnd't do that to them.
As for my kids X-Mas , they had a great one, got new clothes , everything they wanted from Santa, which wasn't much though and I hope they have a better one next year. I hope all had a Merry X-Mas ,and wish a happy New Year to all.
I have learned a thing or two going through all of this, I know that if you put your mind to what ever, you can make it work,even if it doesn't work the way you wanted it too. The other thing is, how you have got to treat a Woman if you truly love her. So it was a hard lesson learned and hope I can someday find a capnion to share that with.

God Bless all.

Scooba Steve

Schoen-hopper · Post by **Schoen-hopper** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 2:31 pm

Sounds like a tough time to have to deal with, Scooba.

I think you show a lot of courage to deal straight on with what life has dealt you. Being honest will clean the slate and start the healing process. Its really hard sometimes to make good decisions, but they always make a difference in the end.

Keep your thoughts on the brighter side and don't ever hesitate to give me a ring.

str8 · Post by **str8** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:17 pm

To error is human, to forgive is divine! You sound much more at peace.

disclizard · Post by **disclizard** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 6:17 pm

Scuba I admire you for what you have written. I shows alot of pride was put aside and alot of thought has gone into your self healing. the path you are taking to your own recovery is beautiful. It takes a real man to admit when he has done something wrong and an even bigger man to do it with dignity.

I can say this for sure if you tell your kids what you have just told all of us you will have no worrys that they will be proud of you and see that all does work out for the best. We all love and cherish your friendship too. We will be happy to know that when you can't be at a tourney or at league its becouse you have put whats important ahead of us. God bless you too scuba.

Cat · Post by **Cat** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 7:43 pm

Scoba, you are the bomb. For being able to be totally open and honest with us is admirable. You have admitted your mistakes and now you have to change and admitting is half the battle (I know I sound like a therapist). You will do your kids a great justice for being honest with them also, like Lizard said and I know you well enough to know you will be. If you and wife really can put your differences aside for the children that will be the best!!! We will pray that everything works to your advantage. Thanks again!!!! Joe and Cat

McCabe · Post by **McCabe** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 7:57 pm

I'm here for you as well Scoob!

$c0oBa · Post by **$c0oBa** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:41 am

I thank all of you for your support, and by the way it has almost been a month from my smoking addiction and I'm very proud of myself, but I'm going to keep going foward, not backwards.

I believe God has a great reward in store for me.

Cat · Post by **Cat** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:10 am

$c0oBa wrote:I believe God has a great reward in store for me.

Hold onto that.

$c0oBa · Post by **$c0oBa** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 12:36 pm

Wow, I just looked at my inbox and it was full. If any of you have PM'd me, sorry I wasn't ignoring you.

You know I was wanting to fix this ordeal with my wife, for her , for my children, for myself. There is a vicious cycle in life, " The curse of generations", and I was willing to do anything to break this cycle and I tried to explain this to her. I told her that I would work hard to prove this to her and my children, put in overtime. She kept telling me that she doesn't love me anymore, that hurts, I asked her to give it a try. I realize it's not going to go that way. I realize there is still a way to break this cycle, even if we aren't together.

Me and her talked about taking on a friendship between us, and I see this is the way. When I was growing up I watch my dad do the same as I did to my wife. I don't want my Daughters or Son thinking this is the way of life, to argue, to hit, to hate your loved one. So yeah, if me and her can let the past go and show the little ones everything is going to be alright
between Daddy and Mommy, this is the way. When my parents divorced, the arguing, and hatred kept on for years. I hated that and it hurt me very much and that is when I turned to doing a lot of wrong things, things I regret. So if I don't show my kids that life the cycle will break. The thing that will be hard for me to deal with is seeing someone with my love,but as long as she is happy,and he doesn't do what I did,and my kids are treated with respect, this will bring me happiness in a sad way, in time it will wash.
Thanks again guy's and keep praying for me.

Sandman · Post by **Sandman** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 5:25 pm

I'm very proud of you Boober. If you need anything you know where I live.

$c0oBa · Post by **$c0oBa** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:44 pm

It is hard to understand her mind. This guy is only 19 years of age and has the oppurtunity to create his own life, instead ,she, who is 28, has 3 kids,can't have no more, is trying to give him a life that has already been created.
Is there anyone who can help me understand this? I see this being very wrong and hope she doesn't regret what she is doing later in life.

Yes 19, 10 years older than my oldest daughter.

Again I thank you guy's for replying to this, it help me through the pain.

Friz-Rocker · Post by **Friz-Rocker** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:11 am

Love is really about this great underlying biological drive.Losing someone you love is like having your valiums taken away.
#1 cause of divorce?
marriage

$c0oBa · Post by **$c0oBa** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:25 am

Friz-Rocker wrote:Love is really about this great underlying biological drive.Losing someone you love is like having your valiums taken away.
#1 cause of divorce?
marriage

Thanks Friz, now I see.

Friz-Rocker · Post by **Friz-Rocker** » Sat Dec 29, 2007 9:06 am

The way I see it Steve,you should focus on the kids and be as good a sport about her situation as you can.The 19 year old will move on and if you are trying to get better,she may come back to you.

Sincerely Dr.Phil

Mace Man · Post by **Mace Man** » Sat Dec 29, 2007 5:37 pm

Steve you have figured out one thing that will make you and your kids life a lot better. What is it Not To Use Kids As A Tool Against the X. When I see that it pisses me off. It took a lot of guts to throw your life on the board in front of everyone keep it up. Who knows maybe this will help someone else! You know my number if you need anything.